“Put your thoughts to sleep, do not let them cast a shadow over the moon of your heart. Let go of thinking.” - Rumi
For me “Love is madness” - a state of mind where we
are ready to go to any lengths of madness. It doesn’t mean it is wrong but the
willingness to accept anything in the pursuit of our own happiness. Deep down
it is an egocentric state of mind. We say all kinds of things like we are
selfless with the other person to let them mistreat us and still stick to them.
But, we tolerate everything because a part of our mind is convinced that our
happiness lies with them. It is more like we are addicted to the idea of being
with them that other things don’t matter at all.
It is only fair that we usually associate our romantic
ideas with what we see in fiction, our escape mechanism from reality. None of
the things we see in movies may actually work out the same way in reality. Like
we cannot stalk a person and make them fall for us or we cannot expect the
bride to come running towards her ex leaving the groom at the altar. But,
sometimes fiction captures the essence of what the love fuss is all about.
‘Holiday’
is one such movie. It is about two women who were at the receiving end of their
toxic relationships, decide to take a break and swap their houses for change.
What follows is a breezy drama of what happens when they set aside the toxic
people in their lives and embrace life the way it comes. Love eventually finds
them in the most unexpected scenarios and teaches us it is important to choose
the person who chooses us instead of waiting for a miracle to make the person
we choose to love us. How much ever this movie is heart-warming, it seems
unfair to people who cannot immediately find a person who loves them. It is as
if the moving on phase comes only when we find the next person with whom we can
spend the rest of our lives. What if it takes time? What is our life
supposed to mean till then?
This is where the movie ‘Queen’ had scored. If
you want to move on from a person, all it takes is ‘YOU’. Nobody else. If you
can fill yourself with so much love, there is no way another person has to come
and fill the void, your ex has created. It may take a while for anyone
definitely, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait until you find another one.
Even before that you can very well shove your engagement ring back at your ex
and move on like a queen indeed.
There is a Tamil movie ’96 which was a huge hit.
It is about a school love where the lovers (?) partway due to circumstances
but still reminiscence their memories in a school reunion many years later. The
movie has always gotten into my nerves. It is not just highly superficial for a
40-year-old man to not have moved on in life but to still pass out when his
school crush just touches him. I would describe the movie as about a coward who
never confessed his love but stalked her till she got married and wrecked her
by telling all this when she had moved on. This is one classic example of what
not to do when you really love a person. But, what else can you do when you
really love a person?
Be open about your feelings and respect the other
person’s decision. ‘Poo’ is an idealistic portrayal of love which is very uncommon
in mainstream cinema. Maari is madly in love with her cousin since childhood.
She was open about her feelings, not just with him, but with the whole world.
But when he refuses to marry her citing medical complications in marrying blood
relations, she respects his decision, though she is left heartbroken. Beyond
the longings and sufferings, there is something phenomenal in her love. She lets
him go only for him. She never persuades him or mourns over not marrying him. She
just wishes the best future for him but eventually breaks down when she discovers
later that he is unhappy with his married life. 11 years ago when I watched it,
I went completely awestruck at her, but, as I grow older, I realize this is
what being selfless is all about. Not trying to limit the person for our
happiness. Love comes with respecting the other person for whatever they choose
to do.
But, how much ever I idealize her love, I would not
want anyone to be like her. That saves so much trauma. The ultimate purpose of
human existence is to be happy. And to be happy, the only way is to keep our
hearts open and embrace the changes life happens to shower us. Like Raju does
in
‘C/o Kancharapalem’, we have to be brave enough to never let go off the
love that comes to us at all stages of life, transcending the societal
barriers. It is never too old to fall in love and whenever it happens, be sure
to fight for it no matter what happens.
Raju gives hope in life without romanticizing it with
the past but just embracing the present. No matter how twisted our stories get,
the universe always finds its way to give everything we deserve. Just open your
arms and be ready to accept it.
The possibilities in life are never-ending!
“Try not to resist the changes, which come your way. Instead let life through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” – 40 Rules of love
Good write-up. Only to some extent, you can go with this fact. " Love comes with respecting the other person for whatever they choose to do".
ReplyDeleteBecause I don't like the kannagi's decision or Nalayini's decision on doing kinds of stuff out of love, and I hope even you won't be agreeing with their decision as well.
Though I like "Maari" and the movie poo, still I am bit confused, how to take up the climax - What "Maari" should have done.